The Journey of Preparation to Singleness, Marriage & Intimacy With God
Day 2: Bloggers Remorse
You've heard of buyer's remorse right? When you buy something and soon after you regret you bought it. Well I had bloggers remorse. After I launched this new blog journey yesterday, I immediately regretted it. Thoughts like “What am I doing?”, Nobody wants to read about my love life”, “Wait I don’t even have a love life”, “365 days is a long time, what in the world am I going to write about”, flooded my mind. And I questioned if I had made a mistake.
Once the initial shock had subsided, I put on my you got this smile, and began to write once again. Which brings us to Day 2 of the journey of Preparation to Singleness, Marriage & Intimacy With God.
The Big question
I get asked often, will I ever marry again? Four years ago I would have told you “Never, Ever”, with such boldness, passion and a hint of sassiness. But today I not only want to get married again, I desire to get married again. Not to just be able to have a man in my life and be able to have all the benefits that the married life entails, hint hint wink wink, lol. No, I now understand that marrying someone has more to do with God’s plan, than our plan.
The Hardest Part of This Process
I believe the hardest part of this journey for most of us, is embracing singleness. We love and dream of being married and having intimacy with God, but we are praying and pleading for God to take away singleness, and connect us with our true love, soulmate, boo, baby daddy, baby mamma, whatever you call that intimate relationship, we want it.
I wasn't the kind of little girl who dreamed of getting married and having a fairy tale wedding. Instead, I grew up with four brothers, loved swimming in the creek, playing with frogs and joining any sports team my mother could afford to put me in. It wasn't until I got married that I fell in love with marriage and being a wife. So when I went through my divorce I was devastated not only for the death of that relationship, but also from the death of being someones wife... I died to the love of being married and the entering back into singleness.
Why do we fight singleness?
Some people see singleness as being lonely, so they pray and plead to find that special someone. Others, like myself don’t see singleness as being lonely, because I can have fun all by myself, I’m wired that way. However I do see singleness as being alone.
Although I don't normally focus on being alone, there are occasions that it rushes to my face and bothers me something fierce. Like the times that I’m with my friends who are married or courting, and I’m the only single one present, or during the holidays and I’m watching Hallmark love stories. Or on my birthday, the big V day (Valentines Day) and at times when I travel alone, and wish I could share those beautiful moments with my true love, soulmate, boo, baby daddy.
It wasn't until a few days ago I watched a YouTube video of Dr. Myles Monroe, where he declared that he and his wife were happily married, because they were happily single.
Say what? How in the world can you be married and single at the same time?
Dr. Monroe soon explained. He talked about God’s principles of singleness in marriage.
Singleness is the most important state of human development
Singleness is the design for the human family (because God started the human race with one single person not a couple)
The foundation for all relationships is the single individual (what you bring to it is what it is)
You don’t marry people to improve yourself, you marry people to expose yourself. Who you are now as a single person is going to be who you are in your marriage, magnified and on steroids. (Some of us have a lot of work to do at being single, because we would not be able to deal with ourselves for an hour, let alone a lifetime)
I'm learning that being single can be the most beautiful thing in the world, and a lifetime endeavor, even after the wedding day.
So for everyone who is reading this blog, whether your unmarried, divorced, widowed, married, courting or engaged, let’s start to embrace our singleness with the knowing that it is something beautiful and needed for all of our relationships to work. In the days to come I know we will begin to learn how and why that is.
Until then, be great, do great and love every minute of it! Talk with you tomorrow Beautiful One!
With Beautiful Love