The Journey of Preparation to Singleness, Marriage & Intimacy With God
Day 9: My Relationship With a Married Man
Talk about a heated discussion. I was a speaker on a relationship panel, when this question was posed, “Can men have female friends if they are married”? Boy did this question fuel a fire and get people talking.
I was surprised by the differing responses from both men and women. Some said “there is no way there can be a platonic relationship between a man and a woman. Why others said it can be done. I sat quietly just listening to the responses and then I shared my personal experience with a married man.
I have had a long time friendship with a married man for over 20 years. He is truly like a brother to me and an uncle to my children. The reason this relationship has stayed healthy for so long is because; (1) although we started as friends first, our spouses were also included in our friendship. (2) we keep healthy boundaries. For example, we don’t go on late night meet ups alone, or talk on the phone for long periods of time. (3) We honor each other by keeping our friendship healthy by not being secretive to others regarding our relationship.
The way a healthy platonic relationship between a man and a woman can become unhealthy is if they spend long extended hours together alone, talk excessively on the phone, are secretive about their relationship to others, and if they run to each other to talk about problems within their marriages or other relational issues, in attempt to find comfort.
So can men and women be platonic friends, void of romantic feelings? The answer is yes, if they have prayer and healthy boundaries.
Today's Lesson: It is just as important to have healthy friendships within the same sex, as it is with the opposite sex. It makes you a better person for your intimate relationship with your purpose partner.
On this journey of singleness, marriage and intimacy with God don't isolate yourself or disconnect with great people when you begin to date or are in a marriage, invite your significant other to join all of your relationships, in order to build a community of greatness.
Continue to build relationships with both men and women, Until tomorrow, Non-discriminate friendships rule!
With Beautiful Love