The Journey of Preparation to Singleness, Marriage & Intimacy With God


Yesterday we began a discussion related to relationships and how the foundation of any successful relationship must be built on trust.I then listed ways to ensure to establish and maintain healthy relationships, which are to:

  1. Identify & Compartmentalize all your relationships

  2. Stay true to your Core Values

  3. Follow through on your Deal Breakers

Think about your home that you live in. Most likely you have a front door, a kitchen, a living room, maybe an office space, but most definitely a bedroom.

Now imagine the mailman comes to your door...ding open your door and what happens next? Do you invite him into your living room? Your kitchen? Your office? Your bedroom? Most likely not. The mailman usually stays at the door, because his purpose in your life is only door related. You don’t really know him other than he brings your mail.

Why is it that everyone that comes to our door we bring in to the most intimate places of our life and then get offended when they expose what they see to hurt us. If they were only at the door they would have only saw what you allowed then to see...your pretty little face.

Today’s Lesson: Identify & Compartmentalize all your relationships so that you will never be hurt or confused by the individuals behaviors.

First you must identify who the individuals in your life are

  1. Constituents (individuals who don’t like you but like the cause your fighting for. When the fight is over the relationship is over)

  2. Comrades (individuals who like you and like your cause, however if someone better comes along they will leave you with no hesitation)

  3. Confidants (Individuals who like you, like your cause you stand for and will be there for the long haul)

Constituents are pretty much your enemies, yet because a greater enemy shows up they will team with you to fight that greater enemy. But once the fight is done they are done with you.

Comrades come and go with the wind. As soon as they see someone shinier than you they are running after the new and kicking you to the curb.

Confidents are lifetime relationships. People in this category could be our husband or wife, besties, longtime business partners, close family members and so forth.

Once you have identified your Constituents and Comrades it’s up to you to treat them accordingly. As for your Confidants you must then compartmentalize them.

Let’s use the house we mentioned earlier to help us compartmentalize our relationships. The house represents your soul, the inner parts of you.

Door: People at the door see the surface the outward appearance only, and that is what you allow them to see through your personal brand. Don't ever allow Constituents or Comrades to pass your door to enter your house, which represents the innermost parts of you. Instead allow only your Confidence.

Living Room: Your Confidants who can handle the good in your life.

Kitchen: Your Confidants that can handle the good and bad in your life.

Bedroom: The Confidants that can handle the good the bad and the ugly in your life.

Not all of your confidants can handle all areas of your life. For example, you have a real good friend that when you tell them the bad stuff you may be going through, they respond with jokes to make you laugh. They are not being mean and you definitely should not end that relationship because of it, they are revealing to you where they fit in your house, which is the living room, because they can only deal with the good stuff in your life.

Homework: Take some time to list all of your current relationships and then identify and compartmentalize them all.

Until tomorrow be intentional in your journey of singleness, marriage and intimacy with God, by identifying and compartmentalizing who is among you!

With Beautiful Love


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