The Journey of Preparation to Singleness, Marriage & Intimacy With God


It was the year 2015, when my spiritual mom shared this relationship advice with a group of eager and hungry students, myself included. Months prior to this encounter I was betrayed by the one I thought I was going to marry. Here I was again jilted by love. Why was this a pattern?

When my spiritual mom shared this advice I understood, why my relationship failures had become a pattern in my life.

When I started using this advice, it changed my life and my relationships. Now I pass it on to my children, family, friends, colleagues and patients.

That advice was “when someone shows you who they are believe them”

Today’s Lesson: The best way to have the best relationships is to believe a person when they show you who they are. It is what it is, it ain't what it ain't! Or better yet, they are who they are, they ain't who they ain't.

The majority of the individuals I treat in therapy is based on the outcome of a relationship. The relationship conflict can manifest in various ways”

  1. Cheating/infidelity

  2. Betrayal

  3. Abandonment

  4. Abuse (emotional, physical, verbal)

  5. Rejection

Although we can never control what another person does,we can control their repetitive influence they have in our lives.

  • If a person shows you that they don't respect you, believe them.

  • If a person shows you they don't care for you, by treating you bad, believe them

  • If a person lies to you or on you believe them

  • If a person hurts you, believe them

In the journey of singleness, marriage and intimacy with God, we must guard our hearts by keeping healthy relationships close and bad ones managed.

I say managed because we are not to cut everybody out of our lives. To manage a relationship means to place protective boundaries around that relationships which has brought up a red flag or warning signs, in order to keep us safe.

So how to have the best relationships in your life? Believe the ones you have as they are presenting themselves and act accordingly.

For example, recently someone I esteemed as a sister/friend lied in front of me to another person. Because I now know her as one who lies, I will not entrust her to handle my truth. In other words I will not talk to her as freely as I once did.

Until tomorrow! Believe what they do, not just what they say, and have the best relationships ever!

With Beautiful Love


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