The Journey of Preparation to Singleness, Marriage & Intimacy With God
Day 113: GRIEF SUCKS!
I was sent a link to watch "Sister Circle How to Cope With Tragic Loss with Dr. Cindy Trimm" today and the topic was on the tragic helicopter accident of Kobe Bryant his daughter and the other passengers. A moments into the interview I lost it.
Click To Watch The Interview
When my son was a little boy he and I went on a mommy son date to a LA Lakers game. Before I got out of the car I said “wait I need my lip gloss”. Armoni responded, “Mom Kobi doest know you”. I looked at him puzzled and said “but he will”. To give context, Kobie was my celebrity crush and apparently my son was aware of this, and tried his best to help me come quickly back to reality.
On the day of the accident my son called me crying uncontrollably, not able to contain his pain he repeatedly asked me “why mom, why, how could this happen? And all I could do was be his soft and secure place praying peace and comfort over his broken heart.
You see my son is also a basketball player and has been Kobe’s fan since he was a little boy. And even though he didn't know Kobe personally, Kobe Bryant influenced his life greatly. He looked up to him and followed his advice for the game and life strategies. So when the tragic accident happened, my son said if felt like he lost a part of himself.
As I stayed strong for my son and others I eventually had to counsel, I didn't realize how I intentionally suppressed my own grief. I wouldn't look at media post, I wouldn't talk about it, I flipped over news papers or magazines, attempting to believe if I didn't see it, it wasn't true.
But when I watched this interview with Dr. Cindy Trimm. She said a comment that caused a plug to be removed. She said “allow yourself to feel the emotions” So I did and it hurt really really bad. It sucked. I didn't like it, but I felt and I cried, and I felt and I cried, and I prayed and I cried.
Then after a while I felt lighter, it still hurt but then God began to give me instructions on the outcome of my grief.
My son called me today after my breakthrough and he told me about his recent speaking engagement that he had at his university. He said he used his story of his father, myself and Kobe and stated he spoke from his heart and knows he is called to be a speaker within his profession because of it.
Today’s Lesson: Don't numb yourself to grief, feel it then live from the lessons you learn from the experience. There is purpose on the other side of your pain.
On this journey of preparation into singleness, marriage and intimacy with God you will experience grief and loss. It’s not to stop you but to add flames to your purpose.
Until tomorrow go through your grief by feeling the emotions and then living your life to the fullest.
With Beautiful Love