The Journey of Preparation into Singleness, Marriage & Intimacy With God
Day 158: 8 Red-Flags You Should Never Ignore In A Relationship
Flags are meant to guide us or steer us in the right direction. For example if you are snowboarding and you see an orange flag, it is an indicator that two runs or paths are about to merge. If you ignore the flag you could find yourself in a not so pleasant icing colliding at full speed with another snowboarder.
Or if you're on a tropical beach and you see a red flag out, it is indicating to stay clear of swimming in the water at that time due to the high intensity undercurrents. If you ignore this flag it could be the beginning of an involuntary under the sea voyage.
The same is true for our relationships.
Today’s Lesson: If you ignore red-flags in a relationship it could cost you great emotional distress later on.
When in the beginning phase of any relationship we have a period of time where you are just getting to know each other. Seeing if you are compatible with the other person.During this time if you see these 8 Red-flags you should never ignore them early in a relationship.
Their emotional state toward their parents (Are they harboring unforgiveness, hatred, resentment, this could potentially affect your relationship if they don't go through inner healing work)
They speak poorly about their Ex’s (If all their ex relationships were the crazy ones, beware because people who are in drama usually are the ones who create it. You never know you might be the next crazy ex in their story)
They are constantly rescheduling with you (Something is always coming up weather real or false, pay attention it may cause problems long term)
They treat you differently then they treat other people ( For example you are treated like royalty, however they are nasty with the waitress, condescending to the Uber driver, hot tempered with the cashier at the movies and so on. Don't think it wont switch to you after the honeymoon period has ended.
They have constant mood swings (Everyone has funky days now and again, however if the person you are starting a relationship is constantly switching moods as often as you change your clothes that is a red-flag. This could be swinging from being the life of the party to not wanting to get out of bed due to depression)
Is A slave to work ( An ambitious go-getter is golden and a passionate purpose driven partner is what we pray for. However someone who is married to their work and doesn't know how to balance life to nurture your relationship with quality time is a red-flag, and a making for a marriage counseling bill in the future of that relationship)
They don't want to do the things you like (The key to a great relationship is to enjoy each other's company doing the things that you love to do. If someone is unwilling to try the things that you like, yet you are always doing what they like it is a red-flag)
Your intuition is telling you something is off (“Let your discernment work for you” is what my mama always told me. If you have a feeling that has you questioning the relationship don't ignore it, explore it.
When you are on the journey of preparation into singleness, marriage and intimacy with God this red-flag list could go on and on, however these are some great ones to start with. Also keep in mind the presence of these red-flags does not mean you must end the relationship unless they are your own personal deal breakers. If they are not these red-flags are merely for you to be aware and act accordingly. This might mean you have a conversation with the person or you wait to see if the behaviors go away the more you get to know the person.
Until tomorrow what #redflag behaviors do you feel we shouldn't ignore in our relationships?
With Beautiful Love