The Journey of Preparation into Singleness, Marriage & Intimacy With God
Day 170: INTENTIONALLY HURTING SOMEONE IS NOT FUNNY
I was just joking, you can't take a joke?
I wanted to see if you really loved me
Me going out with that guy was just to make you jealous
Why are you being so sensitive, I take photos like that will all my female friends
I didn't mean it that way
I just wanted to get your attention
Today’s Lesson: Intentionally hurting someone to get a reaction is not cool, so stop it.
When I have couples therapy there are times I get couples who do mean things to each other just to get a reaction from their partner.
And psychologically what is happening is that their behavior is actually a form of communication. Whether it is trying to communicate a need, desire, fear, anger, or something.
The downside of this is that sometimes when someone is communicating their need, desire, fear, anger, or something in a negative way the one who they are trying to communicate too gets hurt in the process.
Using the statements from above instead of negative behaviors communicate with words such as these:
I really like you and I want to know do you like me too
I have fallen deep in love and I just want to know are you feeling the same way
I’m scared you don't love me
I don't want to be in a committed relationship right now
I’m just not into you that way, I’m sorry I don't what to waste your time anymore
Hello my name is Harry what’s your name? Sally, nice to meet you!
In this journey of preparation into singleness, marriage and intimacy with God, I get it it’s hard to put yourself out there and be transparent in how you feel and what you really want to say. However if we were living in a single existence, meaning it was just “Me, Myself and I” we would have no need to bother about other people's feelings.
But since we live in a world filled with billions of humans with feelings, let's have compassion and think before we do. The best question to ask yourself is...How would I feel if this was happening to me? If you wouldn't care if someone tried to intentionally hurt you, then ask yourself, how would I feel if this happened to the person who I love the most in the whole wide world?
If someone is intentionally hurting you, don't stay silent about it, communicate your feelings and how their behavior is affecting you. And if you are intentionally hurting someone for a reaction, stop it!
So until tomorrow #talktothemitworksbetter
With Beautiful Love