The Journey of Preparation into Singleness, Marriage & Intimacy With God
Day 199: IT’S GETTING HOT IN HERE!
I love to hear stories of how married couples managed their dating and courting phase of their relationship. Especially when it relates to their sexual attraction. My question to them is how did you handle it?
Sexual attraction toward your partner is not a bad thing, in fact it is a beautiful thing. However what do you do during your waiting time, if you are having urges and moments when you almost go all the way.
Today’s Lesson: While dating and courting set sexual boundaries early in the relationship
You’ve heard the phrase it’s better to marry than to burn. If not it is a scripture in the bible that is warning people who find themselves attracted to each other to marry instead of having illegal sex (sex before marriage) due to the temptations of their sexual drive and attraction to their partner.
On the journey of preparation into singleness, marriage and intimacy with God, it is imperative that you have this discussion with your partner in the beginning. Talk about your triggers, and the things that place you in the sexual danger zone. Also discuss what you do want from your partner.
For example, I know that kissing is a trigger for me, so I have decided not to kiss until my wedding day (trigger). For others they may opt out for no physical touch at all. I love to hold hands and hug so that won't work for me, I need someone who will hold my hand and give me hugs (what you do want). You may be one that does not want to be alone with your partner and chooses group dating only (trigger). While you may desire one on one time often (what you want). I've even heard of some couple who will not spend time with each other after a sertain time in the day.
Whatever you choose, you must have this discussion with your partner early on. Give them the ability to decide if they agree or disagree with your boundaries. Plus it’s better to have an agreed upon plan before those heated fellowship moments occurred.
A great example of this is from movie producer Devon Franklin and his wife actress, Megan Good, who discuss this topic in their book “The Wait”. When things would get a little too hot and heavy for the couple, they would immediately leave each other and go home.
So until tomorrow if you are dating or courting and things are getting a little to steamy between you and your partner #gohome
With Beautiful Love